Ok, so it's been a while since I've last updated this thing. I finally picked a college (yay!) after getting rejected and wait-listed at many others (boo!). It was one heck of a roller coaster, culminating in one final week-long trip to four different colleges in four different states with four different flights and one very long car ride from Saratoga Springs, NY to New Haven, CT. After weeks of agonizing over UC vs private, scholarship vs better academic program I chose Emory University in Atlanta, GA. One, it has the CDC. Yes, the CDC, literally on campus (or like 1 ft away, whatever they want to say, it's right next door). Two, they're an incredibly rigorous school, which I appreciate and enjoy. Three, the people seem dedicated and really nice. Four, it's practically the Rice of Georgia, but with white buildings instead of brick ones. Five, DOOLEY THE SKELETON! What's more perfect than a biology skeleton mascot? Nothing, that's what! Plus the dorms were really nice too and the prestige was a bonus.
Now I actually have to get there. Joy.
For the past month, well, more like three, I've been fighting the idea of going to college. It's a huge change. I'll never really be able to come back to home in the same way. I'll never really be able to connect with my friends here in the same way as before. I'll never have a permanent home until after college. Freaking terrifying. Especially when all my crap has to fit in two and a half suitcases. We're not shipping anything.
I've been severing my connections with my different organizations over the past few weeks, and I'll continue to do so until about three days before I leave. EGA (the Embroiders Guild of America) was the first to go. As they aptly put it, I have about 40 aunts back home if I ever need anything. They are my family and I am going to miss them terribly. There is nothing more soothing than bitching over something while working with needle an thread. Pure therapy. I let go of my community service involvement at the local public library. I left under the request to let them know when I'm in town so I can free-lance volunteer. It'll be similar, but it'll also be different - it'll have a swift expiration date every time I go in. When I was little, the library was my home during the summer and I was able to lose myself in books for hours on end there. It was, again, like losing a family and a home that I could always come back to.
I had to leave Girl Scouting as a girl forever, dissolving the troop and departing for good. Being a lifetime member and an alumnus will make it a bit easier, but it's still tough. I'd been with that group for over 13 years. I'd gained leadership experience, friends, confidence, and a bazillion other important things. It was hard to say goodbye.
Next was Boy Scouts Venture Crew. We spent a week at a Boy Scout camp as the first co-ed campers ever. I met amazing people and they literally had to tear me away from them at the end of the week. We'll have a debriefing in a week, but that really was the last hurrah.
Tonight, I'll have to let go of a group that has really helped me find power within myself (yes I know it sounds cheesy but it's true). Civil Air Patrol taught me how to manage cadets, give drill tests, and administer uniform inspections. I've had a wicked fun time working with all the people I've come in contact with and I'll feel like such a wimp if I break down during my speech tonight, but it is a distinct possibility. I'll be handing command of the cadet squadron to one of the most capable people I've met. I have no doubt he'll go places with the squadron, places I could never have sent them. It'll be awesome hearing about what they do, but it'll still suck not being there (what won't suck will be ironing that stupid Blues uniform. Ugh I hate doing that. They were most definitely not designed for a busty female figure and they wrinkle the moment I put them on. Balderdash.)
So, leaving sucks. Leaving majorly sucks. However, I have no doubt that I'll find something akin to family in college. My roommate, from my communications with her via email, seems awesome and the school is tight. Maybe I'll be able to find a Girl Scout troop to help nearby or even a CAP squadron to mess around with. Perhaps I'll even find a crew on campus. Who knows. All I know is I don't have enough time left to say goodbye to all those to whom I want to say goodbye. We're all being scattered like leaves in the wind, and who's to say if we ever see each other again?
Monday, August 12, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
Funny Numbers
Ok, because I'm on a college rant, let's look at some numbers:
>4.2
2300
34
12
The top three are pretty easy to guess, right? GPA, SAT score, and ACT score. That last number is the number of honors/AP classes that I have taken in my high school career. My favorites were AP Chemistry, Honors Biomed, and AP Calculs AB (Yes, I'm that nerdy science kid). Think that would look pretty impressive on a college resume? Let's look at a few more numbers:
4
3
2
>12
These are a little harder to figure out, so I'll just give them to you. 4 after school activities, 3 different constant volunteer organizations, 2 different jobs (not all that big, but still, they're something), more than twelve different awards or honors in high school that I can remember including my Girl Scout Gold Award (equivalent to the Boy Scout Eagle Scout, for those who don't know), Grand Champion at the science fair (again, geeky science stuff with biodiesel and model airplane engines), and Venturer of the Year for my county. More things that look good on a resume, right? More numbers:
5
4
2
Accepted. Waitlisted. Rejected.
Sure, it doesn't seem as bad as it could be, but the predictability of the whole acceptance process has gone out the window. Ten years ago, with these different attributes, I would have gotten into most places. Now, it's literally almost the same as flipping a coin, and my numbers are starting to tank.
Let's look at the accepted schools. I toured the southern UCs the past break and found that I really liked UCSB, UCSD, and UCLA (mostly UCLA). I wasn't that much of a fan of UC Irvine or UC Davis when I visited them. I proceeded to get accepted to UCSB, UCSD, and UCD. I got waitlisted, waitlisted at UCI and denied (I like to use rejected, but that's just me) at UCLA. Fortunately, I didn't like UCI all that much, but I was still exremely surprised to get waitlisted. Don't get me wrong, it's a great school, but most people can agree that both UCSB and UCSD are stronger, so I'm a little confused and peeved. Unfortunately, I did like UCLA. A lot. As in, it was my second pick in my list of schools. Ugh.
Now for the privates. I got accepted to Skidmore and Macalester. I got waitlisted at Bowdoin, Carleton, and George Washington University. I got rejected from Rice. Rice. My top school. My dream school. Well, there it went. Skidmore and Bowdoin are both known and are both incredibly good and at one I got waitlisted (well fine then, screw you) and at the other I was not only accepted with open arms, I was one of a handful of students to with the Porter Scholarship in Math and Science. Want to know how much that one's worth? $60,000. Yes. $60,000 over four years at one and waitlisted at the other. And it just gets weirder. Macalester and Carleton are both comprable as well (heck, they're even in the same general vicinity of Minnesota) and at one I got waitlisted and at the other I got accepted with a $40,000 merit scholarship over four years. Again, what? George Washington really was kind of a middle-range/reach (up there but not as up there as Johns Hopkins, Emory, Cornell, Rice, etc.), so I'm not as miffed, but I'm definitely not happy.
I've talked to a bunch of people and I get the same reaction: short of changing my completely WASP background to something from some tiny country in Africa, Europe, or Asia; losing a limb; contracting some terminal illness that I miraculously recover from; or coming from a disadvantaged background (I'm happy with what I have, I'm not crazy enough to sacrifice that for the sake of one college), I'm not going to get in to any of these places. It's a literal crap-shoot. There are too many people in a bubble that have the same qualifications that I have, maybe more, maybe less, but still roughly the same that nothing stands out any more. Applying to college is like trying to win the lotto: you need to pick the right extracurriculars, classes, sports, and background to be accepted anywhere. There is no reach, midrange, or back up, they're all just big question marks.
I know I'll go to the right school for me, and that the ones that reject me aren't the right ones. That doesn't mean the weeding out process will suck any less. I'm still here and I'm still licking my wounds.
>4.2
2300
34
12
The top three are pretty easy to guess, right? GPA, SAT score, and ACT score. That last number is the number of honors/AP classes that I have taken in my high school career. My favorites were AP Chemistry, Honors Biomed, and AP Calculs AB (Yes, I'm that nerdy science kid). Think that would look pretty impressive on a college resume? Let's look at a few more numbers:
4
3
2
>12
These are a little harder to figure out, so I'll just give them to you. 4 after school activities, 3 different constant volunteer organizations, 2 different jobs (not all that big, but still, they're something), more than twelve different awards or honors in high school that I can remember including my Girl Scout Gold Award (equivalent to the Boy Scout Eagle Scout, for those who don't know), Grand Champion at the science fair (again, geeky science stuff with biodiesel and model airplane engines), and Venturer of the Year for my county. More things that look good on a resume, right? More numbers:
5
4
2
Accepted. Waitlisted. Rejected.
Sure, it doesn't seem as bad as it could be, but the predictability of the whole acceptance process has gone out the window. Ten years ago, with these different attributes, I would have gotten into most places. Now, it's literally almost the same as flipping a coin, and my numbers are starting to tank.
Let's look at the accepted schools. I toured the southern UCs the past break and found that I really liked UCSB, UCSD, and UCLA (mostly UCLA). I wasn't that much of a fan of UC Irvine or UC Davis when I visited them. I proceeded to get accepted to UCSB, UCSD, and UCD. I got waitlisted, waitlisted at UCI and denied (I like to use rejected, but that's just me) at UCLA. Fortunately, I didn't like UCI all that much, but I was still exremely surprised to get waitlisted. Don't get me wrong, it's a great school, but most people can agree that both UCSB and UCSD are stronger, so I'm a little confused and peeved. Unfortunately, I did like UCLA. A lot. As in, it was my second pick in my list of schools. Ugh.
Now for the privates. I got accepted to Skidmore and Macalester. I got waitlisted at Bowdoin, Carleton, and George Washington University. I got rejected from Rice. Rice. My top school. My dream school. Well, there it went. Skidmore and Bowdoin are both known and are both incredibly good and at one I got waitlisted (well fine then, screw you) and at the other I was not only accepted with open arms, I was one of a handful of students to with the Porter Scholarship in Math and Science. Want to know how much that one's worth? $60,000. Yes. $60,000 over four years at one and waitlisted at the other. And it just gets weirder. Macalester and Carleton are both comprable as well (heck, they're even in the same general vicinity of Minnesota) and at one I got waitlisted and at the other I got accepted with a $40,000 merit scholarship over four years. Again, what? George Washington really was kind of a middle-range/reach (up there but not as up there as Johns Hopkins, Emory, Cornell, Rice, etc.), so I'm not as miffed, but I'm definitely not happy.
I've talked to a bunch of people and I get the same reaction: short of changing my completely WASP background to something from some tiny country in Africa, Europe, or Asia; losing a limb; contracting some terminal illness that I miraculously recover from; or coming from a disadvantaged background (I'm happy with what I have, I'm not crazy enough to sacrifice that for the sake of one college), I'm not going to get in to any of these places. It's a literal crap-shoot. There are too many people in a bubble that have the same qualifications that I have, maybe more, maybe less, but still roughly the same that nothing stands out any more. Applying to college is like trying to win the lotto: you need to pick the right extracurriculars, classes, sports, and background to be accepted anywhere. There is no reach, midrange, or back up, they're all just big question marks.
I know I'll go to the right school for me, and that the ones that reject me aren't the right ones. That doesn't mean the weeding out process will suck any less. I'm still here and I'm still licking my wounds.
Friday, March 22, 2013
College
I will not lie, college terrifies me sometimes. Literally. I will wake up in the middle of the night, panicking because I'm not ready to take on the responsibilities and challenges associated with college studies and life. Plus, I really don't like the idea of leaving my family and my room. I've lived there for going on 18 years, that's more than a bit of a connection...
College differs from high school in many ways, the most striking being living on your own. Yes, I know that college has a huge workload and a high academic level, but I think the first challenge the moment one steps onto campus is being completely and utterly alone. Though it is a terrifying experience (or I feel that it would be), it is necessary for a person to live on his or her own for purposes of maturation. Without that freedom to do either smart or stupid things, people would never grow out of their respective shells and would live as sheltered individuals for the rest of their lives. What a bore.
High school still involves a babying state, where the teachers do a lot of hand-holding and check in with you constantly. Of couse, it depends which university or college you go to, but for the most part, the professors will not do that. Oh no, far from it. They will expect their students to act like mature adults and keep track of the due dates and their grasp on the information. A student afraid of asking a professor for help will flounder in college. And there won't be any easy points to boost a poor test grade.
I feel that most professors don't want to give those easy points that many high school teachers give. One of my favorite classes was chronically guilty of giving easy points to students because the subject matter was complicated and difficult for some students. I feel that in middle school that may be acceptable, but not high school, and definitely not college. If students rely on 5-10 point worksheets to offset poor tests, they will flounder in college for lack of trying on the tests. Even if they do try, if they can't talk to the teacher for help beforehand and manage their own homework and studying, they will not succeed. Two classes in high school that are the exceptions to the extra point conundrum are AP Calculus (either AB or BC) and Honors Biomed. These classes rely on tests/midterms, papers, and presentations for the grade. 10 point easy worksheets do not exist in these classes, and the students are quick to figure it out. I wish that more classes were like these so that people would be better prepared for college. It seems as though colleges want something different from what all our previous schooling teaches us.
Ms. Morris taught us that colleges hate the five paragraph essay, and I don't blame them. Who wants to read over one hundred idendically formatted papers every assignment? However, I've always started introduction first and then built my paper off of that. Starting with a few body paragraphs and the conclusion before moving on to an intro paragraph seems really strange at first, but actually works in the long run and is apparently how college professors expect us to write cohesive college-level essays. How in the world are we supposed to know this unless teachers teach this to us in high school? Don't get me wrong, five paragraph essays are excellent for teaching basic essay concepts. However, no one can expect us to write five paragraph essays all our lives and it is important not just for college but for people functioning in the workforce that they learn how to write something a bit more complex than an intro, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Yawn.
I can't wait to go to college (that is, if I actually get accepted - I've been on a rather depressing denied/waitlisted trend over the weekend that has kept me relatively miserable), but I feel that I am not prepared academically or socially. Teachers don't teach in high school to the level expected in college, which is to be expected, but then professors in college seem to expect that students already know how to function to their standards without being told. It's all very contradictory and confusing and it'll be interesting to see what happens when I get there, wherever I go.
College differs from high school in many ways, the most striking being living on your own. Yes, I know that college has a huge workload and a high academic level, but I think the first challenge the moment one steps onto campus is being completely and utterly alone. Though it is a terrifying experience (or I feel that it would be), it is necessary for a person to live on his or her own for purposes of maturation. Without that freedom to do either smart or stupid things, people would never grow out of their respective shells and would live as sheltered individuals for the rest of their lives. What a bore.
High school still involves a babying state, where the teachers do a lot of hand-holding and check in with you constantly. Of couse, it depends which university or college you go to, but for the most part, the professors will not do that. Oh no, far from it. They will expect their students to act like mature adults and keep track of the due dates and their grasp on the information. A student afraid of asking a professor for help will flounder in college. And there won't be any easy points to boost a poor test grade.
I feel that most professors don't want to give those easy points that many high school teachers give. One of my favorite classes was chronically guilty of giving easy points to students because the subject matter was complicated and difficult for some students. I feel that in middle school that may be acceptable, but not high school, and definitely not college. If students rely on 5-10 point worksheets to offset poor tests, they will flounder in college for lack of trying on the tests. Even if they do try, if they can't talk to the teacher for help beforehand and manage their own homework and studying, they will not succeed. Two classes in high school that are the exceptions to the extra point conundrum are AP Calculus (either AB or BC) and Honors Biomed. These classes rely on tests/midterms, papers, and presentations for the grade. 10 point easy worksheets do not exist in these classes, and the students are quick to figure it out. I wish that more classes were like these so that people would be better prepared for college. It seems as though colleges want something different from what all our previous schooling teaches us.
Ms. Morris taught us that colleges hate the five paragraph essay, and I don't blame them. Who wants to read over one hundred idendically formatted papers every assignment? However, I've always started introduction first and then built my paper off of that. Starting with a few body paragraphs and the conclusion before moving on to an intro paragraph seems really strange at first, but actually works in the long run and is apparently how college professors expect us to write cohesive college-level essays. How in the world are we supposed to know this unless teachers teach this to us in high school? Don't get me wrong, five paragraph essays are excellent for teaching basic essay concepts. However, no one can expect us to write five paragraph essays all our lives and it is important not just for college but for people functioning in the workforce that they learn how to write something a bit more complex than an intro, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Yawn.
I can't wait to go to college (that is, if I actually get accepted - I've been on a rather depressing denied/waitlisted trend over the weekend that has kept me relatively miserable), but I feel that I am not prepared academically or socially. Teachers don't teach in high school to the level expected in college, which is to be expected, but then professors in college seem to expect that students already know how to function to their standards without being told. It's all very contradictory and confusing and it'll be interesting to see what happens when I get there, wherever I go.
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