Ok, so it's been a while since I've last updated this thing. I finally picked a college (yay!) after getting rejected and wait-listed at many others (boo!). It was one heck of a roller coaster, culminating in one final week-long trip to four different colleges in four different states with four different flights and one very long car ride from Saratoga Springs, NY to New Haven, CT. After weeks of agonizing over UC vs private, scholarship vs better academic program I chose Emory University in Atlanta, GA. One, it has the CDC. Yes, the CDC, literally on campus (or like 1 ft away, whatever they want to say, it's right next door). Two, they're an incredibly rigorous school, which I appreciate and enjoy. Three, the people seem dedicated and really nice. Four, it's practically the Rice of Georgia, but with white buildings instead of brick ones. Five, DOOLEY THE SKELETON! What's more perfect than a biology skeleton mascot? Nothing, that's what! Plus the dorms were really nice too and the prestige was a bonus.
Now I actually have to get there. Joy.
For the past month, well, more like three, I've been fighting the idea of going to college. It's a huge change. I'll never really be able to come back to home in the same way. I'll never really be able to connect with my friends here in the same way as before. I'll never have a permanent home until after college. Freaking terrifying. Especially when all my crap has to fit in two and a half suitcases. We're not shipping anything.
I've been severing my connections with my different organizations over the past few weeks, and I'll continue to do so until about three days before I leave. EGA (the Embroiders Guild of America) was the first to go. As they aptly put it, I have about 40 aunts back home if I ever need anything. They are my family and I am going to miss them terribly. There is nothing more soothing than bitching over something while working with needle an thread. Pure therapy. I let go of my community service involvement at the local public library. I left under the request to let them know when I'm in town so I can free-lance volunteer. It'll be similar, but it'll also be different - it'll have a swift expiration date every time I go in. When I was little, the library was my home during the summer and I was able to lose myself in books for hours on end there. It was, again, like losing a family and a home that I could always come back to.
I had to leave Girl Scouting as a girl forever, dissolving the troop and departing for good. Being a lifetime member and an alumnus will make it a bit easier, but it's still tough. I'd been with that group for over 13 years. I'd gained leadership experience, friends, confidence, and a bazillion other important things. It was hard to say goodbye.
Next was Boy Scouts Venture Crew. We spent a week at a Boy Scout camp as the first co-ed campers ever. I met amazing people and they literally had to tear me away from them at the end of the week. We'll have a debriefing in a week, but that really was the last hurrah.
Tonight, I'll have to let go of a group that has really helped me find power within myself (yes I know it sounds cheesy but it's true). Civil Air Patrol taught me how to manage cadets, give drill tests, and administer uniform inspections. I've had a wicked fun time working with all the people I've come in contact with and I'll feel like such a wimp if I break down during my speech tonight, but it is a distinct possibility. I'll be handing command of the cadet squadron to one of the most capable people I've met. I have no doubt he'll go places with the squadron, places I could never have sent them. It'll be awesome hearing about what they do, but it'll still suck not being there (what won't suck will be ironing that stupid Blues uniform. Ugh I hate doing that. They were most definitely not designed for a busty female figure and they wrinkle the moment I put them on. Balderdash.)
So, leaving sucks. Leaving majorly sucks. However, I have no doubt that I'll find something akin to family in college. My roommate, from my communications with her via email, seems awesome and the school is tight. Maybe I'll be able to find a Girl Scout troop to help nearby or even a CAP squadron to mess around with. Perhaps I'll even find a crew on campus. Who knows. All I know is I don't have enough time left to say goodbye to all those to whom I want to say goodbye. We're all being scattered like leaves in the wind, and who's to say if we ever see each other again?
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